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Do i?

Remember when we didn’t have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of lovingBaby those sure were the daysThere was a time our love ran wild and freeBut now I’m second guessing everything I see
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you babyDoes the sight of me wanting you drive you crazyDo I have your love, am I still enoughTell me don’t I, or tell me do I babyGive you everything that you ever wantedWould you rather just turn away and leave me lonelyDo I just need to give up and get on with my life?

Tell me baby, do we get one more try?

Been so down these few days that sometimes, I'm tempted to go to sleep & never wake up.
Life is too tough sometimes, especially when your confused & don't know what to do to make everything alright again. The question of when that will happen is still on my mind, causing me to have disturbed sleep and an unbearable feeling of heartache.

I blame no one but myself for the wrong decisions I make, honestly.

Other times I'm just no longer sure of what's right and wrong anymore.

Someone teach me how to keep up with the changes in life and people?

Because keeping up is getting real tough for me.

I know I have to be strong, I'm doing my best to hold it in.

I have to and I will.

Couldn't help but cry when I re-read one of the birthday cards my family gave me for my 17th birthday. They're probably the only ones who feel my hurt when I'm hurt- cry with me and for me.

The pink card even had a cute little elephant on it, which made me even sadder:o

I miss being a kid, hiding behind the door to wait for Daddy to come home.

He would push the door open slowly and i would run to hug him.

Actually, I miss my happy self.

❤ "Do i?" was Posted On: 10/03/2012 @12:51 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

Where are you?

Where are you now?

I was staring at the female angrybird just now, thinking of our memories.

When we tried to buy the angrybird then were told it was free.

I thought of the first time I met you at yck interchange, properly, after never speaking to you for a year in gened class.

I remembered my first impression of you, that you were a good, friendly guy.

I had fun going out with you that time.

I remembered the times we went to marina barrage and when you carried me and swung me around on the field, you wiping my tears away that day when I told you how sad I was.

That was one of the rare times I opened up to anyone then.

I thought of the day I agreed to be your girlfriend, one of the happiest nights of my life.

I remember feeling happy and secure with you.

Those were our beginning times.

Now I recall the middle part.

I recall eating at seoul garden with you for our first anniversary, you wanted to ask the waiter to take a picture for us but we took one ourselves in the end, I suggested that.

I recall our trip to wild wild wet, me laughing and screaming down the (I don't know what) ride.

It was really fun, you just were like smiling at me.

I think of you texting me everyday, in the morning, all the time, to ask about my day, and I'll ask about yours.

I think of our 2nd anniversary, which wasn't that great but that you tried making an effort at least.

I remember how our arguments usually end with a hug and i love yous.

Our 3rd anniversary, you gave me the big bear which is on my bed now.

Oh and the first toy you gave me, Chipmunk.

I remember being touched getting it.

I kept it beside me every night though I don't like the fur much.

But its cute of course.

I think of you always sending me home & remember waiting at the polyclinic with you for 3 hours, going to the hospital together with you, going through good times and bad times with you because that's what love is about isn't it?

Being with you has made me happier than I've been with any other-knowing that i'm with someone who loves me.

I remember once I was thinking to myself, do you love me? It was a random thought.

I didn't even have a doubt before I thought of course you did.

I've placed my trust in you even when I know it makes me vulnerable- like we all are when it comes to love.

So tonight what you said hurt me like an arrow to my heart.

Do you remember all these things?

That we promised that we'll go through thick & thin together bcos that's what love is about?

It breaks my heart just to recall your words, though you may not have meant them the way they came out.

Yet i want to believe you still mean what you said after.

A cruel world doesn't mean we all have to become cruel people.

Especially not to those who love us.

And I hope that you will choose me. No matter how much I understand your feelings, i can't understand if I'm not of equal importance.

It makes me feel like what I've done is futile.

It isn't easy, trying to sleep with a broken heart..

❤ "Where are you?" was Posted On: 9/19/2012 @12:09 AM | 0 lovely comments ✿

Its still affecting me

Today is, well, one of my moody days.
Spent the whole day moodily without telling anyone.
Like the image above- sometimes things affect us but we don't want to admit it.
I must say though, that I really envy those people, especially those girls who can live life without letting relationship problems (especially) and problems with other people affect them too much.
People always laugh at those who care too much, saying, why do you even care when you're the only one who cares?
Honestly that is a question to which I'll never know the answer.
I know people think caring is stupid & honestly so do i.
But really, love, in any of its forms is stupid.
Trust me, we all hate it when we are the ones who care more- be it at the moment or always.
I have always tried being heartless but it never works.
I give up trying to be, I can never achieve it to the standard of some people I could mention but I won't.

Argh its 9.30 already.
A couple of hours closer to results day, weeee!
Yeah right.
I'm off to moodyland, dumb as it seems.

Bye!

❤ "Its still affecting me" was Posted On: 9/17/2012 @9:27 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

God gave me you

God gave me you.

Hello everyone!

The image above is one I stole from google LOL.

Desperation, I know.

I really like the song though, Blake Shelton's voice is music to my ears (really) and so are the lyrics of his song.

Here's the link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-Xpt1SxDJw&feature=g-vrec

This is one of the rare times I'm not blogging at night, lol.

Shall not reveal the reason for that here. (:

Anyway I'm blogging this post cause someone wants me to!

Lol.

Sorry for the photo spam, haha.

I know some people hate to see photos of couples, my apologies. This post is different okay!

Happy anniversary angrybird(:

I just wanted to complete someone's request & at the same time thank him for being here for me, I'm not easily satisfied & I've met people who have made me really unhappy. But I've changed a lot, after all we are all here to learn from our mistakes. I'm grateful for his love and the good guy he is. And for the wonderful day we had, thank you!

Okay, I'm done here. Off to take a mini nap & prepare to meet stef:D

Nails here I come weee.

Plus whatever nice food we're going to enjoy.

Byes!

A good relationship is not easy but worth it(:

❤ "God gave me you" was Posted On: 9/11/2012 @3:13 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

Different.

Over the course of these few days, I started a new job as a receptionist at FJ Benjamin.
It is a company that houses over 20 fashion brands including top brands like Raoul (their housebrand), Guess, GC, La Senza, Gap and Givenchy, etc.

I've learnt something new about myself.
I actually like office jobs. Lol if Joey and Stefanie are reading this now they must be like whattt.

Which made me realize a couple of things about myself.
I'm actually a really boring person, lol.

I mean, people who don't know me assume i'm the type who loves fun and crazy stuff (like drinking & yes i do, no judgemental people here i hope!)

I have to admit that i love doing fun stuff and trying new things when it comes to going out with friends and stuff, I crave excitement.

Normal dinner outings are never enough for me.
I prefer full-day outings ended by drinking sessions. (Not till I'm drunk though)
I like going out with a big group of friends, provided they're nice people.
But when it comes to everyday routines like work, i'd rather have a stable job.
A fixed timing when it comes to going for work, ending work.

The same thing for family & relationships as well, i realized how much i need stability in my life even though i love to have fun & go crazy sometimes haha, but stability is still what i truly want.
Not saying that i don't like to try new things, i think its necessary to try things if they make you happy and new things to do will spice things up when you're out with people.
I even always go back to the same stalls when i go to food courts or hawker centres.
I like safe routines, i noted. Boring to some but security to me.

Alright this is just a short post because i'm off to sleep soon, so good night everyone! The weekend is about to arrive, hang in there! (:

Taken in the library ages ago. My face is chubby, I know. Don't judge!

❤ "Different." was Posted On: 9/07/2012 @12:05 AM | 0 lovely comments ✿

The topic of friends & those we've lost

Best friends.

Hello everyone!

I'm blogging again today. Been more free this couple of days.

Then again not really, just today & yesterday I suppose?

I stayed up pretty late yesterday to blog anyway.

I said yesterday that I wouldn't be putting much emo stuff on my blog anymore cause its kind of pointless and childish too right? Haha.

But this isn't an emo post, its more of a ranting one.

I'm currently using this blog as a platform for ranting today, so don't mind me! (:

I'm sure not many people read it anyway (since I keep it so private)

See that photo I put above?

Its because Mom reminded me of something today.

She always brings this up lol, but its not on purpose, she just wants me to be happy I guess, she's just concerned.

But it does make me really sad I must admit, it reminds me of things I'd rather not think about if possible.

Basically Mom keeps reminding me of the friends that I no longer really talk too, especially my "best friend" who honestly, isn't really my best friend anymore.

And if she ever sees this one day, I'm not afraid to hide it too.

I still care for you as your friend sweetie and I always will, you'll always be my friend in my heart, but you disappointed me too many times for our friendship to be the same again.

(sorry ranting part here haha but hey i warned ya:P)

I've known you since we were sec one, we've grown up together.

You are my only friend who knows me inside out, and I know you.

Which is why I don't blame you for changing, because I understand your character.

Its just who you are, you move on easy, and you have changed to become colder over the years too.

To me its just sad that the only friend I confided all my troubles to is just gone just like that.

You called me at 12am that day, I was asleep yet I picked up the phone patiently and heard you talk.

You hadn't called me in months, no matter how many times I called & tried to talk to you previously you never tried to hear me out, even when most of our conversation revolved around you.

I told myself you had changed, and I'm already so used to it by now, but sometimes like tonight it just gets to me you know?

Whatever happens I wish you well in your life & we'll always be friends, even if not best friends any longer.

Because people change & move on, no?

Guess i'm the sort that can't forget my best friend of almost 6 years, but hey who would be able to with how close we were? You i guess but oh well that's life isn't it...

Okay i'm done ranting and crapping lol.

Things haven't been great on the friend side lately.

People are plain competitive these days & yeah I know i'm not the perfect groupmate or whatever, but you can't deny that I'm a good friend.

I'm not the world's best daughter or whatever but when it comes to friends I give too many second chances to those undeserving.

If someone's nice to me i'll be nice back, plain and simple.

No mind games.

But people these days love to play games & friends no longer treat each other as friends.

People ought to be classified into the categories of:

1. Good potential project mate

2. Person who's good to hangout with for the sake of increasing the popularity of oneself

3. Someone who I can spend time with on a regular basis, potential clique mates (cause everyone needs a clique)

4. Good looking people I can camwhore with & then upload my photos on facebook to make it look like my social life is positively blooming with an abundance of cute people.

Alright I'm starting to sound really bitchy & stereotypical in this post;(

Oh dear its hard not to while talking about these sort of issues.

But what I said is true isn't it?

Its hard to find a true friend indeed, just as its hard to find a lover that truly loves you.

Life is never easy!

We either learn to live it or live it in misery/ or die lol but that is no option here, I'm no quitter even though life has not been that kind to me unlike what some people out there are no doubt, thinking. (:

On a lighter note, ill be going back to school for RIT tomorrow!

Might be working at night, depending on the situation, see how it goes.

Good night everyone, have a good sleep & sweet dreams!

Hope my rants didn't scare anyone lol (:

❤ "The topic of friends & those we've lost" was Posted On: 8/27/2012 @11:48 PM | 0 lovely comments ✿

Recent updates

At Siloso Beach, Sentosa

Hi everyone!

If there's anyone that is lol.

I haven't updated my blog for so long.

I realized its really full of crap previously too, haha.

Apologies to anyone who saw my previous emo posts.

Anyway, the last time i updated was June.

I usually am pretty lazy to blog due to the lack of time & well, interesting things to blog about.

To me it's pretty pointless to blog about mundane, everyday events.

Well life hasn't been that great lately due to the countless assignments and projects, but its almost all over, which gives me great relief(:

But there's been some good parts as well.

Been spending my days resting at home, going out with friends & family sometimes & spending time with my boyfriend AKA angrybird as well. (:

Went out with angrybird today & yesterday!

We went to Siloso Beach yesterday, it was fun except for one thing (which I won't say here) and for the fact that I almost fainted in the toliet.

It was probably because I didn't eat anything.

I suddenly "almost blacked out" and I called angrybird to come in to the toliet and save me LOL but of course he couldn't, there were too many girls inside.

So i told him to get someone to come save me :( I couldn't even stand up by myself and yup, he got the cleaner which banged on the cubicle door, that I was in.

Thank God I could stand by then and made it out of the toliet safely, though I was extremely pale according to angrybird. He made me sit down for awhile and drink some sweet drink then held me while we walked to the beach.

We took quite a few pictures at the beach (all in his phone) and he told me to bury him in the sand and I sat there suntanning in my new bikni LOL while he built a sandcastle & stuck a (I don't know what. Branch? It was huge) into the "castle". It looked more like a turtle haha.

Something happened when we were on our way home & I followed angrybird to Changi Hospital before he sent me home.

Hope everything'll turn out alright...life is very fragile I guess and we should treasure our time spent with those we love.

We went to Marina Square to walk a little today & we spent most of our time walking round at Esplanade. We spent time near our favorite place, outside Marina Bay Sands, too. (:

Had a good time.

***

Haha "I deer you" baby!

Going out with yl & her friends tomorrow, most likely.

Hope it won't be awkward.

Alright, more updates to this dead blog soon!

Thanks for reading, if you even do lol.

Goodnight everyone(:

Labels: blogging, MBS, Sentosa, Time with boyfriend, Updates

❤ "Recent updates" was Posted @12:32 AM | 0 lovely comments ✿

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