start of work.
heya guys(:
i got a new job, as a beauty promoter for a cosmetic company.
like skin care, body care, you know, all that stuff.
so we had training today-we learnt bout' the products we're gna be selling.
some of em are not bad really.
hmmm i correct that.
ALL OF EM' ARE AWESOME SO PLEASE SUPPORT ME PEOPLE:D
i will be working at different locations depending on whr m' assigned to.
hopefully i dont have to change locations everyday,
and i can work at watsons or guardian.
we tried at least a 100 different products today(my hands still smell like the cream, seriously).
the training was in commonwealth and boy, was i tired.
theres some bust-enhancing serum. ._. LOL.
theres the temp one or permanent one.
so if anyone wants to get skin care products just ask meee! (:
hmm.
now that ive finished promoting my products here,
i can talk bout' other stuff.
not that there's much to talk about, really.
I realized i like routines alot.
i hate being flexible, which is kindof a bad thing.
i don't like suprises, unless they're nice ones(:
so my future job has to be one that is stable.
We're like polar opposites, aren't we.
Maybe an english teacher or something, or a tuition teacher.
i can do freelance editing in my free time i suppose.
to earn more money.
But i realised, that money doesn't really matter so much to me after all.
sure, its important, but i think i have enough right now.
And through my working experiences i realised that i value my personal life so much more than money.
i would never give up being with my family and friends on sundays and my other off day for money.
it would never be worth it.
i always say its better to find some rich guy in future, but really, when it comes down to it,
i'll still choose love over money.
Cause even if i've got the whole world, but no family, no friends, no you.
I'd be miserable.
Hmm.
Guess working gives me a good idea bout' what kind of person i am.
I just wish you'd stuck around even longer to find out.
I take a long time to warm up to people, to let my guard down, which is why some people (i will not mention names uh:P) think m' scary. HMM.
RAWWWWRRR hahahaha just kiddinngg.
:D
but once you get to know me, you'll find im not scary at all.
if im ever fierce its cause i feel the need to protect myself.
i'm quiet, but when the need arises i won't be.
if its necessary, that is.
though this is an exception when m' at home-HAHA shouting round the house is no good example!
but m' only quiet intially cause im just that way, and i don't like getting hurt by others i guess.
but really, no scariness here:D
i hope we all understand each other better nowww. :P
hmm i shall go now, been sitting in a chair all day and my back and my butt hurts.
Bye! (:
Miss you.
Memories are hard to forget, indeed.
Especially the ones i had with you.
I hope we'll meet someday.
Something tells me that even if i tried, i wont be getting over you for the next decade or so.
it might work for awhile,
but if you ever showed up again, there goes my efforts.
i miss our funny conversations and friendship more than anything else we had.
Thats all i want back.
how it used to be.
but i know.
we can't, cause of her.
i want to tell you it isn't worth it.
but who am i to say that, when im this way.
you're sad.
im sad.
i dont know if shes sad.
but its not my concern.
its also not my concern what people think of me saying this. i need to clarify that no matter what anyone says i will not change my mind bout this.
its not before.
its not the aftermath, not entirely.
to you.
be happy, alright.
if you are, im happy for you too.
we haven't talked on the phone in a couple months, havent we.
i miss your voice.
i still remember it.
lost.
do what you want.m' so tired of this shit.
who cares if i'll ever find someone better.
i dont care anymore.
you can do whatever you want cause it ain't my business.
and the only reason why im not saying everything ive always wanted to is cause i care too much that i'll lose you as a friend.
besides, nothing i say is going to change you.
so forget it.
i'd rather go to poly, have a new start.
begin anew.
forget bout you.
i remember this: Some things we'll never get over. we just get through.
and that applies for only certain things, and people.
You, for good example.
(:
hey! :Dim here again.
i've decided something.
in my free time these days, provided m' not getting a job yet, and between checking out courses,
i'm going to write stories.
actually i want to write a book, but m' afraid there isn't enough material for that-a book is pretty long and will take up way too much of my time.
maybe i'll continue it over a period of time.
i need to regain my confidence in my writing, cause it feels like i've lost my faith this time.
i think the problem is i try to make my english too perfect when i write, and when i want to use slang words or write in my own style i immediately wonder if what m' writing is correct.
and that makes my writing less natural than usual.
even now m' doing it!
Gosh.
i've gotta change this stupid habit of mine.
:(
i really want to be a writer next time-have my own column in the papers or something.
so m' gna apply for the creative writing in TV and new media in spore poly.
they cover both script writing and journalism, so i was told.
i want the journalism part so bad D:
this is really important to me, and i wish i could just get in already.
i dont even want to go to a JC cause i think the subjects there aren't suitable for me.
I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE TAKING MATHS AND GETTING A D OR SOMETHING.
i mean seriously, i hate my stupid foundation.
i'm sure that if i had done well for math and got an A life would be like, way different now.
sometimes i hate myself for what've done in the past, wasting my time.
but there's no point dwelling on that anymore.
i shall go visit spore poly's website now, and check out their courses again!
and i shall start deciding what kind of story m' writing, and start planning the plot.
bye(:
giving up.
today is the day i give up on you.i hate to say this, but i've been dragging this out way too long.
we're too different.
today as i stood there in the hall, getting my results, you were there too.
you went around to all your friends but not to me.
i waited and waited but you never came.
i know you were just awkward.
but i was thinking in my head, is this what i wanna do-wait my whole life for someone who'll never be mine.
i miss you more than i miss anyone else.
i've cried countless times over you.
i've loved you.
enough at least.
but you've never loved me back.
i know, if it was me or them, you'd choose em in a heartbeat.
Gosh, i wish i'd realised this sooner.
or rather, i wish that right now, as im saying all this, i actually would believe what m' saying.
because i know you.
you would never ignore me, would you.
you're so much more than that.
m' not in denial, but i know you're much better than who you were today.
i don't understand.
i don't.
so when i said bye and takecare to you just now, i meant it.
i can't wait forever.
i just hope one day you'll wake up and realize there was this girl, not perfect, not the best, but that she loved you with everything she had,
and you gave her up, and that you missed out on the best thing you could've ever had.
the best thing we could've ever had.
i don't know if i'll ever find anyone like you again, for all the reasons i love you-
1. you're great in english. (:
2. you're talented.
3. you've got a great music sense.
4. you're smart, even if you don't practice for maths. but trust me you WILL REGRET THAT.
5. you love your family.
6. you like sports and socializing.
7. you're popular. (although this kills me, i love it too. :P)
8. you're sweet.
9. you're kind.
10. you have the ability to read my mind, sortof, and guess what m' feeling and when i say something, you get it, despite that i didn't want you too, right.
11. you cheered me up when i was freaking sad and half-dead-you were there for so long man.
12. you're the nicest, kindest guy i've ever met.
and i love you for a million other reasons just cause you're you and not some other guy.
i love that you're so different from him XD
hah but thats not the reason.
i just do. no reason why.
someone's so wrong for not appreciating you.
but then again, we make choices.
im sure she has reasons too.
i just hope you'll stay happy now.
and though i'll probably stay in this "not over you" stage for the rest of my life,
im giving me a chance too.
so, this is it.
bye. love you.
new year. new start.
HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! :D i've deleted all my past blog posts.
cause apparently people are getting the wrong idea that m' sad.
but m' not.
those are part of my past.
and m' willing to start afresh.
(:
im giving myself a chance again.
this time i know better than to fall so hard, so fast.
this week's just been awesome.
been going out almost everyday.
hahaha that's part of why m' in a good mood i guess.
the other reason is that i've realised there's no point of holding on to things that make you unhappy or sad.
i know someone thinks im' a walking cliche but hey that's not true!
i feel like i've grown alot ever since last year.
and m' not being egoistic.
its true.
when i look at my previous blog posts i feel like snorting.
i was that retarded wasn't i.
:X
oh well, its over.
thank God.
anyway results are gna be released soon.
:D
10 jan.
freaking scary!!
its more important to me than anything else now, and im scared.
thinking about it.
few more days!!
hope 'll do just fine.
i dread the day.
don't want to talk bout it anymore.
makes me nervous.
i can't wait for parents to go back to school!
XD
hahhaa then i can have freedom.
(:
just kidding!!!!
cause they're all at home now and mum's talking about one of her students on the phone, really loudly:P
i'll be slacking at home today anyways:D
maybe i'll get another job after cny.
or before that. but definitely after results come out.
Alrights. shall post another day then.
bye guys!
My Name is Chuan Ying. I'm a 19 years-old girl who loves watching chinese dramas (not korean please), my soft toys/ plushies and hanging out with my favorite people in the world. I strongly believe that pasta is food for the soul and lying on a mat in the middle of a field with the one you love by your side on a sweet, windy night brings about x100000 (infinity) happiness to a person