Hello blog!
I'm just bored from stoning at my com, so taking a short break by updating this dead blog.
Had some thoughts just now, just thought I should summarize them here.

I was thinking about something I usually don't take time to consider:

We go from baby/toddlerhood


To childhood


To becoming a teenager...


Then an young adult, a middle-aged adult, and so on.

Many people think that we start "growing up" when we're teenagers, but in my opinion, we don't.
To me, people realize the bitterness of many of life's aspects when they're teenagers. That's different from growing up. Growing up means you realize life's bitterness, accept it, or form your own view on it and how you're going to live it.

It hardly means complaining about it all the time to anyone who will hear you out, whenever you want.
Decision-making perhaps is a big part of this whole growing up thing, which I think, is something that no matter how old i am, i will never get right. I know i'll never get all the right decisions no matter how old I am, or how much of life I've gone through.

Maybe the "right" decisions are determined by us too, our opinion on what's right and what's wrong.
I think that's the reason why we judge other people (talking about a person's philosophy of life) and say things like, this person is doing the wrong thing by living his/her's life in a certain way.

People grow up when they learn to accept their own philosophies of life-what they determine life to be and see it as, and when they learn to cope with life-and the baggage that comes with it, be it the judgmental eyes of others who disapprove them or their own feelings of guilt for living their life a certain way they want. Of course, part of the process means learning responsibility, which is one aspect that most people will find very difficult (myself included, unfortunately).

Maybe sometimes we also need the strength from ourselves and others, or even from the many bitter experiences of life, even if they hurt us or scar us, to make our lives whole in every aspect so we can live them the way we rightfully deserve and should.

I hope one day I will reach that stage of growing up. That stage that I will look at my life, and be proud of how far I've come no matter how weary my soul is, how tired I am. All that will be worth it as I would be proud to tell myself that I've not just survived life barely, but I've lived it to my own best ability, in little to no comparison with others.

I pray, with all patience and endurance in my heart, that that day will come. (:

This post is dedicated to you.
Haha, i know i don't spill my feelings out here often anymore, but i think there's a need tonight to.

"True love would always find a way to understand pain". I have never understood this statement in my life. Never ever. I know those who know me may think i do, since i've supposedly liked a certain person a lot before (which is long over.). But honestly, i did not.

Every person i met before you, was never a person who cared for me.
Never.
I had no idea what a person who truly loved me and not for any other reasons would be like.
I thought they cared, but really, they did not.
Therefore i wasted lots of time.

But tonight i feel a need to emphasize on that statement.
Indeed, true love will find ways to understand pain.
Its like when we were first together, and you told me, you gave in to me in many arguments because you love me.
Which you did, i appreciate that.
Now i understand.
Because even when you make me angry or hurt, i find myself trying my hardest to forget things.
I want things to be okay again, i choose to think of the good things you've done for me instead of the bad. Yes what happened may still hurt but over time i forgive you, and you likewise.

Misunderstandings and arguments are bound to occur to any person, especially a couple.
I and you have been upset & hurt by these things, but i hope that you have not lost faith in us and in me.

I know i rarely say mushy things to you & post on your wall, but this post is different.

I won't lose faith in us even if my heart is hurt or yours is, i will remind myself to keep the faith because of these few reasons:

1. Because i love you
2. Because you're special

Now there any many special people out there. But you're different to me.

Because you:

1. Walk around with me in soft toy & hello kitty shops when i ask you to.
2. Sing the baobao song.
3. View me as important & care for me. (:

Not lying.
Hope we both won't stay too upset any longer, you and i both know certain things are not worth walking away from.

Sleep tight, fluffy.

Remember when we didn’t have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of lovingBaby those sure were the daysThere was a time our love ran wild and freeBut now I’m second guessing everything I see
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you babyDoes the sight of me wanting you drive you crazyDo I have your love, am I still enoughTell me don’t I, or tell me do I babyGive you everything that you ever wantedWould you rather just turn away and leave me lonelyDo I just need to give up and get on with my life?


Tell me baby, do we get one more try?

Been so down these few days that sometimes, I'm tempted to go to sleep & never wake up.
Life is too tough sometimes, especially when your confused & don't know what to do to make everything alright again. The question of when that will happen is still on my mind, causing me to have disturbed sleep and an unbearable feeling of heartache.

I blame no one but myself for the wrong decisions I make, honestly.

Today is, well, one of my moody days.
Spent the whole day moodily without telling anyone.
Like the image above- sometimes things affect us but we don't want to admit it.
I must say though, that I really envy those people, especially those girls who can live life without letting relationship problems (especially) and problems with other people affect them too much.
People always laugh at those who care too much, saying, why do you even care when you're the only one who cares?
Honestly that is a question to which I'll never know the answer.
I know people think caring is stupid & honestly so do i.
But really, love, in any of its forms is stupid.
Trust me, we all hate it when we are the ones who care more- be it at the moment or always.
I have always tried being heartless but it never works.
I give up trying to be, I can never achieve it to the standard of some people I could mention but I won't.

Argh its 9.30 already.
A couple of hours closer to results day, weeee!
Yeah right.
I'm off to moodyland, dumb as it seems.

Bye!

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